she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
