So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
