I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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