Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize