Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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