I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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