so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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