Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I love black thongs
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
