there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
