your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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