It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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