p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
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My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize