I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
