i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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