Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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