It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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