I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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