Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
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he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
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also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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