Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
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