And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
