Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
