she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
