Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
