anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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