i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
