I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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