I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize