This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
false alarm, still single
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
