u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I currently don't understand fingers.
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