Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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