So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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