i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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