Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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