Swine flu. Run for my life!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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