sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
