Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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