just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just gift wrapped bread.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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