He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
