Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
