I am puke
I look better un-naked...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
