Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
