sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
