1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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