do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
a search helicopter?!
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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