The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
