just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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