where am i from again
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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