I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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