You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
