I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
