Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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