i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
