I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
