this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize