I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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