he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I can't turn off my feet"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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