i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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